Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

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fragsta
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Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby fragsta » Sat Jan 12, 2008 2:01 pm UTC

Inspired by this.

Let's post punchlines and then come up with suitable identifiable social groups to be mocked!

Let's start with something easy, stolen directly from the comic.

BEGIN:
Both of them!


GO!

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Actaeus » Sat Jan 12, 2008 2:26 pm UTC

Fans of Xenocide who haven't send Randall Unabomber-style homemade letterbombs.
It's a good thing he can smell gunpowder from a yard away...

NEXT: Two; one to conclude lightbulbs are outdated anyway, and one to look in the basement for candles.

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby zingmaster » Sat Jan 12, 2008 7:45 pm UTC

((Wow, this is a little hard, actually.))
Amish in the future.

One, but he has to reinvent the lightbulb every time.
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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Chrismclegless » Sat Jan 12, 2008 8:14 pm UTC

A mathematician who only works from first principles.

15 - 1 to say that changing the bulb is on the agenda, 1 to change the bulb, 1 to take notes of how he changes the bulb, and 12 to sit and watch, saying nothing.
Londo: Maybe it was something I said?
G'Kar: Maybe it is everything you say.

How tasty is YOUR brain?

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby joeframbach » Sat Jan 12, 2008 8:53 pm UTC

A campus senate meeting, following Robert's Rules of Order.

Two: one to change the lightbulb, and one to change it again.

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Col. Mustard » Sat Jan 12, 2008 10:47 pm UTC

People with OCD.

A: Two, one to hold the giraffe, and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Dream » Sat Jan 12, 2008 10:56 pm UTC

Surrealists.

Two. One to hold the glass together, one to punch the socket.
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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Chrismclegless » Sat Jan 12, 2008 11:54 pm UTC

Black belts in karate.

Two - one to remember the helpline number, and one to dial it.
Londo: Maybe it was something I said?
G'Kar: Maybe it is everything you say.

How tasty is YOUR brain?

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby DrStalker » Sun Jan 13, 2008 9:25 pm UTC

Office workers.

Eight. One to screw the bulb in, seven to document each step in excruciating detail.
There are two types of people in the world: 1) those that can extrapolate from incomplete data.

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby J Spade » Sun Jan 13, 2008 9:29 pm UTC

People in an AP European History class.

Five. Five to wait for the bulb to fly up and into the socket while the other falls out.

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Chrismclegless » Sun Jan 13, 2008 9:48 pm UTC

Lazy optimists.

It doesn't matter, as long as they know there's a solution.
Londo: Maybe it was something I said?
G'Kar: Maybe it is everything you say.

How tasty is YOUR brain?

GENERATION 21: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Matthias » Mon Jan 14, 2008 12:54 am UTC

Particle physicists.

Five: one to change the bulb, one to point out that it's still out, one to change it again, one to go to the store and get more, and one to call the others a douche and flip the light switch on.
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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby DrStalker » Mon Jan 14, 2008 1:58 am UTC

Help Desk Staff.

Four. One to track down the spirit of the old bulb, one to give it last rights, and two to light scented purple candles.
There are two types of people in the world: 1) those that can extrapolate from incomplete data.

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Maseiken » Mon Jan 14, 2008 8:30 am UTC

Pantheists.

Eleven, one to screw in the light Bulb, andeleven to stand around, talking about how much they liked the old one and wondering asking why they needed a new one anyway?
"GRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWR!!!!"
(Translation: "Objection!")

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Zohar » Mon Jan 14, 2008 9:13 am UTC

Fanboys.

10. One to replace it and another to count in binary.
Mighty Jalapeno: "See, Zohar agrees, and he's nice to people."
SecondTalon: "Still better looking than Jesus."

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Chrismclegless » Mon Jan 14, 2008 2:44 pm UTC

Programmers

6 - Three to stand next to each other, two to stand on their shoulders, and one to stand on their shoulders to change the bulb.
Londo: Maybe it was something I said?
G'Kar: Maybe it is everything you say.

How tasty is YOUR brain?

GENERATION 21: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Hurduser » Mon Jan 14, 2008 2:49 pm UTC

Dwarfs

100, one to change it and 99 to click away the error-messages
Frag mal nach im IRC
'zum Kotzen' das heisst dort XP.
Win2k, nur so zum staunen,
hat mehr Bugs als nur zweitausend.

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Chrismclegless » Mon Jan 14, 2008 4:58 pm UTC

MS windows users.

1, but in the good old days, a thousand servants would have changed a million lightbulbs at your slightest whim.
Londo: Maybe it was something I said?
G'Kar: Maybe it is everything you say.

How tasty is YOUR brain?

GENERATION 21: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Guy_At_A_Keyboard » Mon Jan 14, 2008 5:27 pm UTC

WASPs

11. One to change it, four to flame him for changing it, and six to post cat macros and badly drawn hentai.

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Chrismclegless » Mon Jan 14, 2008 6:48 pm UTC

AOLers

Only one, but while he's doing it, he's supposed to be changing the oil in the car, replacing a broken fuse and installing the new computer all at the same time!
Londo: Maybe it was something I said?
G'Kar: Maybe it is everything you say.

How tasty is YOUR brain?

GENERATION 21: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Zohar » Mon Jan 14, 2008 9:32 pm UTC

Husbands! *rimshot*

Four. One to install it, another to stitch the first guy's wounds, a third to do the job right, the second will stitch his wounds, and a fourth to call for a repairman to finish it already.
Mighty Jalapeno: "See, Zohar agrees, and he's nice to people."
SecondTalon: "Still better looking than Jesus."

Not how I say my name

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby xkcd_n00bz » Tue Jan 15, 2008 12:39 am UTC

Unix weenies.

(I have never met a one of them that was worth a damn with hardware.)



Just one. But it will be late, over budget and done wrong.
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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby angel_jean » Tue Jan 15, 2008 3:00 am UTC

Government contractors.

Two: one to turn the monitor brightness down, and the other one to change it a few days later.
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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Robin S » Tue Jan 15, 2008 3:21 am UTC

Amnesiac photophobes.

700: 1 to change it, 351 to subsequently agree to change it, and 450,000 to avoid causing a public scandal.
This is a placeholder until I think of something more creative to put here.

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Robin S » Tue Jan 15, 2008 3:44 am UTC

Apostles!

(slight non sequitur intentional)

Two, but God knows how they got in there.
This is a placeholder until I think of something more creative to put here.

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby SoapyHobo » Tue Jan 15, 2008 9:22 am UTC

Conspiracy theorists wearing tinfoil hats

Seven, but only if they stretch a bit
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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby podbaydoor » Tue Jan 15, 2008 12:04 pm UTC

Ants.

Eight. One to remove the old bulb, one to put out a call for new bulbs, one to decide on the new bulb, one to sign the new bulb to contract, three to give the new bulb a makeover, one to install the new bulb in place.
tenet |ˈtenit|
noun
a principle or belief, esp. one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy : the tenets of classical liberalism.
tenant |ˈtenənt|
noun
a person who occupies land or property rented from a landlord.

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby pr1mu5 » Tue Jan 15, 2008 1:34 pm UTC

podbaydoor wrote:Eight. One to remove the old bulb, one to put out a call for new bulbs, one to decide on the new bulb, one to sign the new bulb to contract, three to give the new bulb a makeover, one to install the new bulb in place.


A reality-tv production crew.

10. One to hold the ladder, and the other to install the light bulb.

:)

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Master Gunner » Tue Jan 15, 2008 2:30 pm UTC

People who communicate badly and then act smug when they're misunderstood.

2: One to change it, the other to change it back the moment the first guy leaves the room.

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Zohar » Tue Jan 15, 2008 2:59 pm UTC

Norse gods. Specifically, Thor and Loki.

10. Four to cut a hole through the roof, three to build the mechanical arm to install the light bulb while suspended from the hole, one to actually replace it and operate the arm and lastly two to fix the roof.
Mighty Jalapeno: "See, Zohar agrees, and he's nice to people."
SecondTalon: "Still better looking than Jesus."

Not how I say my name

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby i like pi » Tue Jan 15, 2008 4:50 pm UTC

XKCDers.





300 - ( :twisted: ) One to go kick a guy into a well, and the rest to yell and stab things, and then eventually have something to do with lightbulbs.
Or something to that effect. Hell, I don't know.

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Macbi » Tue Jan 15, 2008 4:50 pm UTC

Ocean's 10




0.999...
    Indigo is a lie.
    Which idiot decided that websites can't go within 4cm of the edge of the screen?
    There should be a null word, for the question "Is anybody there?" and to see if microphones are on.

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Hurduser » Tue Jan 15, 2008 4:53 pm UTC

Intel processor-developpers


"2, that'll be $40!"
Frag mal nach im IRC
'zum Kotzen' das heisst dort XP.
Win2k, nur so zum staunen,
hat mehr Bugs als nur zweitausend.

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby LeftHandOfTheDevil » Tue Jan 15, 2008 5:06 pm UTC

Target workers.

Five, one to change the lightbulb and four to contemplate how Duke Ellington would have done it.
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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Robin S » Tue Jan 15, 2008 5:58 pm UTC

Zohar wrote:Fanboys.

-1.
This is a placeholder until I think of something more creative to put here.

Minchandre
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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Minchandre » Tue Jan 15, 2008 6:30 pm UTC

Members of a high school band.

Just one, to write an IEEE protocol redefining light.

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Robin S » Tue Jan 15, 2008 7:40 pm UTC

Randalls (little-known fact: Randall Munroe is actually the source of all international standards everywhere).

Members of a high school band.
What?

Anyway, the next punchline:

3 +- 0.05.
This is a placeholder until I think of something more creative to put here.

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Macbi
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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Macbi » Tue Jan 15, 2008 7:43 pm UTC

Mutants.

2. One to replace the lightbulb. One to replace the new bulb.
    Indigo is a lie.
    Which idiot decided that websites can't go within 4cm of the edge of the screen?
    There should be a null word, for the question "Is anybody there?" and to see if microphones are on.

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Robin S » Tue Jan 15, 2008 7:50 pm UTC

Perfectionists.

50,300,001: 300,000 to utterly annihilate the old lightbulb, 1 to order them to do so, 50,000,000 to give him the power to give that order and 0 to do a decent job of getting the new lightbulb up and running.
This is a placeholder until I think of something more creative to put here.

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Zohar
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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Zohar » Tue Jan 15, 2008 8:01 pm UTC

Americans, but it's easy when you build it up so unambiguously...

11. One to hold the light bulb in place and ten to rotate the room.
Mighty Jalapeno: "See, Zohar agrees, and he's nice to people."
SecondTalon: "Still better looking than Jesus."

Not how I say my name


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