Maximize the post:views ratio! (if you look, you must post)

For all your silly time-killing forum games.

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Actaeus
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Re: Maximize the post:views ratio! (if you look, you must post)

Postby Actaeus » Fri Mar 21, 2008 2:23 am UTC

BUMP7
I think I'm done now.

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Actaeus
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Re: Maximize the post:views ratio! (if you look, you must post)

Postby Actaeus » Fri Mar 21, 2008 2:23 am UTC

AFTER BUMP7: 1561/6040
win!

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Owehn
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Re: Maximize the post:views ratio! (if you look, you must post)

Postby Owehn » Fri Mar 21, 2008 2:30 am UTC

1563/6040

:D
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Re: Maximize the post:views ratio! (if you look, you must post)

Postby Actaeus » Fri Mar 21, 2008 2:40 am UTC

How does that work?

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Re: Maximize the post:views ratio! (if you look, you must post)

Postby Actaeus » Fri Mar 21, 2008 2:40 am UTC

6044 before this post

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Actaeus
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Re: Maximize the post:views ratio! (if you look, you must post)

Postby Actaeus » Fri Mar 21, 2008 2:40 am UTC

Now 6045 (prediction: will now be 6046)

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Owehn
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Re: Maximize the post:views ratio! (if you look, you must post)

Postby Owehn » Fri Mar 21, 2008 2:47 am UTC

I've saved a link to the reply form, so I can post at any time without upping the view count.
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misskwiz
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Re: Maximize the post:views ratio! (if you look, you must post)

Postby misskwiz » Fri Mar 21, 2008 5:53 am UTC

Spoiler:
The beat that my heart skipped sounded like this:

Every now and then I cower and I need to find empowerment
Empowerment is paramount to how I can begin to mount
A plan that I can implement
to make a dent on ignorance
Instead of drunk belligerence
and the dissidence of miscreants
Especially in this instance
with the never ending persistence
to use the words in each sentence
as if they were blunt instruments
to beat a hole in the defence
of this beauty and her innocence
which serves to just build resistance
in spite of all my good intents.

The beat that my heart skipped
This is the beat that my heat skipped
This is the beat that my heat skipped

This is the beat that my heart skipped when we first met
Now that I’ve heard it, it leaves me with a kind of regret
No disrespect
But we left a lot of people upset
And what we had wasn’t really what we’d come to expect

This is the beat that my heart skipped when we first met
Now that I’ve heard it, it leaves me with a kind of regret
No disrespect
But we left a lot of people upset
And what we had wasn’t really what we’d come to expect

Well good God damn and other such phrases
I haven’t heard a beat like this in ages
To miss such a beat would have been outrageous
But when you heart skips a beat its ruthless and aimless

She caught my attention in her fishnets
Then she reeled me, expecting nothing more than kissed necks and quick sex
But that weren’t the case with this platinum princess
She’s attracted my interest
So I wanted to impress...
Upon her all the positive things
That come form having more than just a one night fling
But that’s something that’s easier in theory than in practice
Since pick up lines are tactics
To get prey to the mattress
And this actress
Is practiced
In shunning such theatrics
When put upon daily by tactless geriatrics

So my genuine advances are met with real scepticism
Throwing complements but she just straight elects to miss them
Her lips were put on this earth for dispersing wisdom
God forbid I suggest she lets me kiss them

But I really want to know what she thinks of me
Because I’m loving every idiosyncrasy
But I ain’t one to jump through hoops to make a first impression
Been there, done that, learnt the worst of lessons
We want to be loved for who we appear to be instead of who we are
So our real selves take a backseat behind the pomp and the façade
And that’s as true of the rude boys, downing pints and acting hard
As of the kids shunning convention with clinical disregard

This is the beat that my heart skipped

This is the beat that my heart skipped when we first met
Now that I’ve heard it, it leaves me with a kind of regret
No disrespect
But we left a lot of people upset
And what we had wasn’t really what we’d come to expect

Beat that my heart skipped when we first met
Now that I’ve heard it, it leaves me with a kind of regret
No disrespect
We just left a lot of people upset

This is the beat that my heart skipped when we first met
Now that I’ve heard it, it leaves me with a kind of regret
No disrespect
But we left a lot of people upset
And what we had wasn’t really what we’d come to expect

This is the beat that my heart skipped when we first met
Now that I’ve heard it, it leaves me with a kind of regret
No disrespect
But we left a lot of people upset
And what we had wasn’t really what we’d come to expect

Every now and then I cower and I need to find empowerment
Empowerment is paramount to how I can begin to mount
A plan that I can implement
to make a dent on ignorance
Instead of drunk belligerence
and the dissidence of miscreants
Especially in this instance
with the never ending persistence
to use the words in each sentence
as if they were blunt instruments
to beat a hole in the defense
of this beauty and her innocence
which serves to just build resistance
in spite of all my good intents.

The beat that my heart skipped
This is the beat that my heat skipped
I am currently enjoying the pathetic anger bread of a dissatisfied life.

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Malbert
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Re: Maximize the post:views ratio! (if you look, you must post)

Postby Malbert » Fri Mar 21, 2008 6:00 am UTC

what if I can't think of anything to say? Then I accidentally viewed it, but cannot post. It is a bummer. That is probably why there are so much more views than posts (although the ratio is high)

oh I know! I can just talk about the Meta of this thread. wait... what?
The tasty baconplague: best plague ever.

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Re: Maximize the post:views ratio! (if you look, you must post)

Postby ++$_ » Fri Mar 21, 2008 7:49 am UTC

Whoops, I clicked on this thread by accident.

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Actaeus
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Re: Maximize the post:views ratio! (if you look, you must post)

Postby Actaeus » Fri Mar 21, 2008 2:41 pm UTC

I

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Re: Maximize the post:views ratio! (if you look, you must post)

Postby Actaeus » Fri Mar 21, 2008 2:41 pm UTC

_

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Re: Maximize the post:views ratio! (if you look, you must post)

Postby Actaeus » Fri Mar 21, 2008 2:41 pm UTC

w

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Re: Maximize the post:views ratio! (if you look, you must post)

Postby Actaeus » Fri Mar 21, 2008 2:42 pm UTC

i

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Re: Maximize the post:views ratio! (if you look, you must post)

Postby Actaeus » Fri Mar 21, 2008 2:42 pm UTC

l

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Re: Maximize the post:views ratio! (if you look, you must post)

Postby Actaeus » Fri Mar 21, 2008 2:42 pm UTC

l

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Re: Maximize the post:views ratio! (if you look, you must post)

Postby Actaeus » Fri Mar 21, 2008 2:42 pm UTC

_

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Re: Maximize the post:views ratio! (if you look, you must post)

Postby Actaeus » Fri Mar 21, 2008 2:43 pm UTC

...give up on that. I was going to post "I will post 1 letter/post" one letter at a time, but i got bored.

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Actaeus
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Re: Maximize the post:views ratio! (if you look, you must post)

Postby Actaeus » Fri Mar 21, 2008 2:43 pm UTC

Really bored.

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Re: Maximize the post:views ratio! (if you look, you must post)

Postby Actaeus » Fri Mar 21, 2008 2:44 pm UTC

Really very bored.

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Re: Maximize the post:views ratio! (if you look, you must post)

Postby Actaeus » Fri Mar 21, 2008 2:44 pm UTC

Really very truly bored.

parthenos
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Re: Maximize the post:views ratio! (if you look, you must post)

Postby parthenos » Fri Mar 21, 2008 8:07 pm UTC

meep. i like potatoes, i don't like people, i like the sex pistols, i don't like the state of my psyche, i like smilies, i don't like this one :arrow: .
maybe if this signature is witty enough someone will finally love me.

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Re: Maximize the post:views ratio! (if you look, you must post)

Postby parthenos » Fri Mar 21, 2008 8:07 pm UTC

ah shoot i looked again.
maybe if this signature is witty enough someone will finally love me.

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Re: Maximize the post:views ratio! (if you look, you must post)

Postby Owehn » Fri Mar 21, 2008 9:11 pm UTC

Here I am, contributing for the public good...
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Re: Maximize the post:views ratio! (if you look, you must post)

Postby parthenos » Fri Mar 21, 2008 9:18 pm UTC

oops i did it again.
maybe if this signature is witty enough someone will finally love me.

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Re: Maximize the post:views ratio! (if you look, you must post)

Postby abrenecki » Sun Mar 23, 2008 9:00 am UTC

.

toad2000
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Re: Maximize the post:views ratio! (if you look, you must post)

Postby toad2000 » Sun Mar 23, 2008 9:45 am UTC

Sigh... thought I could get away with looking but not posting. This thread is a trap.

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Re: Maximize the post:views ratio! (if you look, you must post)

Postby SoapyHobo » Sun Mar 23, 2008 10:16 am UTC

I've doomed myself to go 9 days without posting outside forum games.
Jack Saladin wrote:Goddamn that's an awesome ****, Soapy. Once they get around to making artificial **** and I replace my crappy original ones, I'm gonna make mine look like that.

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Re: Maximize the post:views ratio! (if you look, you must post)

Postby trvsdrlng » Sun Mar 23, 2008 10:28 am UTC

Best of luck with that.
My GPS has a fetishistic relationship with OK State Highway 9.

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Actaeus
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Re: Maximize the post:views ratio! (if you look, you must post)

Postby Actaeus » Sun Mar 23, 2008 11:22 am UTC

Oops, I looked.

parthenos
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Re: Maximize the post:views ratio! (if you look, you must post)

Postby parthenos » Sun Mar 23, 2008 3:38 pm UTC

uh-oh
maybe if this signature is witty enough someone will finally love me.

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Owehn
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Re: Maximize the post:views ratio! (if you look, you must post)

Postby Owehn » Sun Mar 23, 2008 5:11 pm UTC

Posting again...
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parthenos
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Re: Maximize the post:views ratio! (if you look, you must post)

Postby parthenos » Sun Mar 23, 2008 5:44 pm UTC

skipping through fields and picking daisies. no connection.
maybe if this signature is witty enough someone will finally love me.

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Re: Maximize the post:views ratio! (if you look, you must post)

Postby zomgmouse » Mon Mar 24, 2008 3:37 am UTC

Hmmm. This really isn't working then, is it?
About a 3.87:1 ratio (views:posts).
"Alf Todd," said Ukridge, soaring to an impressive burst of imagery, "has about as much chance as a one-armed blind man in a dark room trying to shove a pound of melted butter into a wild cat's left ear with a red-hot needle." P.G. Wodehouse

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Owehn
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Re: Maximize the post:views ratio! (if you look, you must post)

Postby Owehn » Mon Mar 24, 2008 5:30 am UTC

That's a pretty good ratio, actually. Most of the other long topics have between 20 and 40 times as many views as posts.
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Re: Maximize the post:views ratio! (if you look, you must post)

Postby UnderRock » Mon Mar 24, 2008 5:48 am UTC

Kitteh!
(I looked >.>)

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Re: Maximize the post:views ratio! (if you look, you must post)

Postby UnderRock » Mon Mar 24, 2008 5:56 am UTC

Crap! I just clicked the back button too many times! (I had to get out of the misquote thread because I couldn't read that threat without bursting out laughing, and my mom's asleep)
Horray for spam! :D

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Re: Maximize the post:views ratio! (if you look, you must post)

Postby michaelandjimi » Mon Mar 24, 2008 6:11 am UTC

@parthenos: You like potatoes more than people? O_O

In other news, I am listening to Spicks and Specks (The song).
Whelan wrote:Relax, have a good time, and hope for the bees ;)

mroctogon
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Re: Maximize the post:views ratio! (if you look, you must post)

Postby mroctogon » Mon Mar 24, 2008 6:16 am UTC

Spoiler:
SCENE VI. Wales. Before the cave of Belarius.

Enter IMOGEN, in boy's clothes
IMOGEN
I see a man's life is a tedious one:
I have tired myself, and for two nights together
Have made the ground my bed. I should be sick,
But that my resolution helps me. Milford,
When from the mountain-top Pisanio show'd thee,
Thou wast within a ken: O Jove! I think
Foundations fly the wretched; such, I mean,
Where they should be relieved. Two beggars told me
I could not miss my way: will poor folks lie,
That have afflictions on them, knowing 'tis
A punishment or trial? Yes; no wonder,
When rich ones scarce tell true. To lapse in fulness
Is sorer than to lie for need, and falsehood
Is worse in kings than beggars. My dear lord!
Thou art one o' the false ones. Now I think on thee,
My hunger's gone; but even before, I was
At point to sink for food. But what is this?
Here is a path to't: 'tis some savage hold:
I were best not to call; I dare not call:
yet famine,
Ere clean it o'erthrow nature, makes it valiant,
Plenty and peace breeds cowards: hardness ever
Of hardiness is mother. Ho! who's here?
If any thing that's civil, speak; if savage,
Take or lend. Ho! No answer? Then I'll enter.
Best draw my sword: and if mine enemy
But fear the sword like me, he'll scarcely look on't.
Such a foe, good heavens!

Exit, to the cave

Enter BELARIUS, GUIDERIUS, and ARVIRAGUS

BELARIUS
You, Polydote, have proved best woodman and
Are master of the feast: Cadwal and I
Will play the cook and servant; 'tis our match:
The sweat of industry would dry and die,
But for the end it works to. Come; our stomachs
Will make what's homely savoury: weariness
Can snore upon the flint, when resty sloth
Finds the down pillow hard. Now peace be here,
Poor house, that keep'st thyself!

GUIDERIUS
I am thoroughly weary.

ARVIRAGUS
I am weak with toil, yet strong in appetite.

GUIDERIUS
There is cold meat i' the cave; we'll browse on that,
Whilst what we have kill'd be cook'd.

BELARIUS
[Looking into the cave]
Stay; come not in.
But that it eats our victuals, I should think
Here were a fairy.

GUIDERIUS
What's the matter, sir?

BELARIUS
By Jupiter, an angel! or, if not,
An earthly paragon! Behold divineness
No elder than a boy!

Re-enter IMOGEN

IMOGEN
Good masters, harm me not:
Before I enter'd here, I call'd; and thought
To have begg'd or bought what I have took:
good troth,
I have stol'n nought, nor would not, though I had found
Gold strew'd i' the floor. Here's money for my meat:
I would have left it on the board so soon
As I had made my meal, and parted
With prayers for the provider.

GUIDERIUS
Money, youth?

ARVIRAGUS
All gold and silver rather turn to dirt!
As 'tis no better reckon'd, but of those
Who worship dirty gods.

IMOGEN
I see you're angry:
Know, if you kill me for my fault, I should
Have died had I not made it.

BELARIUS
Whither bound?

IMOGEN
To Milford-Haven.

BELARIUS
What's your name?

IMOGEN
Fidele, sir. I have a kinsman who
Is bound for Italy; he embark'd at Milford;
To whom being going, almost spent with hunger,
I am fall'n in this offence.

BELARIUS
Prithee, fair youth,
Think us no churls, nor measure our good minds
By this rude place we live in. Well encounter'd!
'Tis almost night: you shall have better cheer
Ere you depart: and thanks to stay and eat it.
Boys, bid him welcome.

GUIDERIUS
Were you a woman, youth,
I should woo hard but be your groom. In honesty,
I bid for you as I'd buy.

ARVIRAGUS
I'll make't my comfort
He is a man; I'll love him as my brother:
And such a welcome as I'd give to him
After long absence, such is yours: most welcome!
Be sprightly, for you fall 'mongst friends.

IMOGEN
'Mongst friends,
If brothers.

Aside

Would it had been so, that they
Had been my father's sons! then had my prize
Been less, and so more equal ballasting
To thee, Posthumus.

BELARIUS
He wrings at some distress.

GUIDERIUS
Would I could free't!

ARVIRAGUS
Or I, whate'er it be,
What pain it cost, what danger. God's!

BELARIUS
Hark, boys.

Whispering

IMOGEN
Great men,
That had a court no bigger than this cave,
That did attend themselves and had the virtue
Which their own conscience seal'd them--laying by
That nothing-gift of differing multitudes--
Could not out-peer these twain. Pardon me, gods!
I'd change my sex to be companion with them,
Since Leonatus's false.

BELARIUS
It shall be so.
Boys, we'll go dress our hunt. Fair youth, come in:
Discourse is heavy, fasting; when we have supp'd,
We'll mannerly demand thee of thy story,
So far as thou wilt speak it.

GUIDERIUS
Pray, draw near.

ARVIRAGUS
The night to the owl and morn to the lark
less welcome.

IMOGEN
Thanks, sir.

ARVIRAGUS
I pray, draw near.

Exeunt

mroctogon
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Re: Maximize the post:views ratio! (if you look, you must post)

Postby mroctogon » Mon Mar 24, 2008 6:17 am UTC

The ratio pretty much still sucks.


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