I'm a horrible person

For all your silly time-killing forum games.

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Zohar
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I'm a horrible person

Postby Zohar » Tue Sep 11, 2007 1:41 pm UTC

Each poster must post something more horrible than the previous poster.

For example:
Current poster wrote:
Previous poster wrote:I kidnap babies.

I eat babies.


Obviously, none of this has to be real... I'll start, try to go a bit slow before we reach crimes against humanity. Also, if there could be a connection between each two consecutive posts I think it would be more fun but it's not mandatory.

So:

I'm going to a game with Real Madrid even though I hate soccer, just to spite my friends (my brother actually suggested I do this when I go to Spain...).
Mighty Jalapeno: "See, Zohar agrees, and he's nice to people."
SecondTalon: "Still better looking than Jesus."

Not how I say my name

yeup
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Postby yeup » Tue Sep 11, 2007 1:53 pm UTC

I'm playing a game of football with Real Madrid even though I can't play football, just to spite everyone who likes it

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keozen
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Postby keozen » Tue Sep 11, 2007 2:36 pm UTC

I'm sleeping with the entire Real Madrid team despite the fact that I'm not even gay, or into football just in spite to all the women (and men) who idolise and fancy the pants off every single player (and their money)
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yeup
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Postby yeup » Tue Sep 11, 2007 3:22 pm UTC

I'm sleeping with the entire Real Madrid team, their partners, pets, and parents. Hah!

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Pesto
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Postby Pesto » Tue Sep 11, 2007 3:23 pm UTC

I'm Carrottop

yeup
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Postby yeup » Tue Sep 11, 2007 3:36 pm UTC

I'm ginger and dress badly

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keozen
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Postby keozen » Tue Sep 11, 2007 3:40 pm UTC

I'm ginger, dress badly, have bad breath, sweaty palms and insist on shaking everyone elses hands whenever I see them
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yeup
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Postby yeup » Tue Sep 11, 2007 3:48 pm UTC

I shook your hand, and told you how sweaty, smelly, ginger and badly dressed you are in no uncertain terms

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Droooo
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Postby Droooo » Tue Sep 11, 2007 4:01 pm UTC

I'm ginger and I'm sleeping with the entire Real Madrid team despite the fact that I'm not even gay, or into football just in spite to all the women (and men) who idolise and fancy the pants off every single player (and their money)
Like Drooo but 10x better.

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SecondTalon
SexyTalon
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Postby SecondTalon » Tue Sep 11, 2007 4:04 pm UTC

I'm Carrot Top, and I just woke up in a puddle of my own filth with hazy memories of banging the entire Real Madrid team despite the fact that I'm not gay, or even in to football, but because I really needed money for crack, nor did I even realize who they were until it came up midcoitus... and now that I think about it, I should have really told them about the herpes.
heuristically_alone wrote:I want to write a DnD campaign and play it by myself and DM it myself.
heuristically_alone wrote:I have been informed that this is called writing a book.

yeup
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Postby yeup » Tue Sep 11, 2007 4:05 pm UTC

I gave you the herpes (as a Christmas present). I got it from the entire Real Madrid team in the first place!

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Forthur
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Postby Forthur » Tue Sep 11, 2007 5:10 pm UTC

I found a simple cure for herpes but had to delete it to make room for Bioshock.
Life's biggest adventures are the dreams you try to make real.

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Pesto
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Postby Pesto » Tue Sep 11, 2007 5:14 pm UTC

I just formatted your hard drive.

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SoapyHobo
Soap. It's, uhh, not actually that good
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Postby SoapyHobo » Tue Sep 11, 2007 5:16 pm UTC

I didn't format your hard drive actually, I just smashed it into tiny pieces and replaced it with a brick.
Jack Saladin wrote:Goddamn that's an awesome ****, Soapy. Once they get around to making artificial **** and I replace my crappy original ones, I'm gonna make mine look like that.

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Dingbats
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Postby Dingbats » Tue Sep 11, 2007 5:50 pm UTC

Actually, I formatted it, put 100 GBs of copyrighted music on it and reported you to the RIAA.

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Vekter
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Postby Vekter » Tue Sep 11, 2007 5:54 pm UTC

Well, that's nothing. I called the FBI on Dingbats for framing Hobo, then hacked the FBI database so Dingbats ended up in a cell with a large black gay man. I then proceeded to bang Dingbats' mother rapidly ant humorously while killing her with a spork. I then proceeded to bust him out of jail, making it look like he did it, then dressed up as him and robbed a bank. I bribed the judge after that to give him a life sentence, in that same jail cell he was in before, with the large black gay man.

Beat that, bitch.
:lol: HOBO BONUS :lol:

SoapyHobo wrote:Where there's penis, there's Narsil


>:3

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Forthur
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Postby Forthur » Tue Sep 11, 2007 6:03 pm UTC

I just sent that written confession to the police. Not only are you the one keeping the big black guy company, but you also owe SoapyHobo several millions for damages, both mental and real.
Life's biggest adventures are the dreams you try to make real.

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OfficiallyHaphazard
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Postby OfficiallyHaphazard » Tue Sep 11, 2007 6:45 pm UTC

you are a horrible person

After waking up this morning next to your mom, I told her that you were framing poor Vekter, and that you were secretly the gay black man, gave her a pitchfork and a speech that was motivating enough to make her hack you to death (with the blunt side of the pitch fork), proceded to sleep with her AND your sister, and then turn both of them in for some genocide thing i did to all of asia. yea.. they are pwnd...

is that good.. I mean bad enough Vekter?
"Who are you, how did you get in my house?" - Donald Knuth

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idont_know12
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Postby idont_know12 » Tue Sep 11, 2007 9:27 pm UTC

I performed brain surgery on your family, so they no longer feel any emotions.

(I think that would be pretty bad...)

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keozen
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Postby keozen » Wed Sep 12, 2007 8:14 am UTC

I'm George Bush

(had to be done)
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dubsola
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Postby dubsola » Wed Sep 12, 2007 10:17 am UTC

I'm Dick Cheney, and I feel no emotions even without the aid of surgery.

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Stief
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Postby Stief » Wed Sep 12, 2007 11:06 am UTC

I'm the bastard spawn of both Dick Cheney and George Bush, thus feeling no emotions because I can't spell emotions...I start a war on the entire world because:
A)I'm stupid
B)I don't care about the rest of the world...
bbctol wrote:There is a term for what you have created. I believe it is "Dude- that shit is EPIC."

Teknobo wrote:Seriously, try flying down the street in Need for Speed while listening to the bicycle theme from Pokémon. It's beyond fantastic.

yeup
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Postby yeup » Wed Sep 12, 2007 11:34 am UTC

I had the chance to sterilise Cheney and Bush and didn't.

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SecondTalon
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Postby SecondTalon » Wed Sep 12, 2007 11:58 am UTC

Back when he was 14, I told Cheney he should go in to politics.
heuristically_alone wrote:I want to write a DnD campaign and play it by myself and DM it myself.
heuristically_alone wrote:I have been informed that this is called writing a book.

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keozen
The Bearded FaiD Batman
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Postby keozen » Wed Sep 12, 2007 12:10 pm UTC

I reminded Bush that other countries apart from the USA existed
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yeup
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Postby yeup » Wed Sep 12, 2007 12:14 pm UTC

I reminded you to remind Bush about the other countries. I also spread a few rumours about his mum.

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keozen
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Postby keozen » Wed Sep 12, 2007 12:31 pm UTC

I may have accidentally muttered "Who cares what the UN says" in the whitehouse once, he may have overheard me
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yeup
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Postby yeup » Wed Sep 12, 2007 12:32 pm UTC

I painted 'press me for sweets' on The Button

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keozen
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Postby keozen » Wed Sep 12, 2007 12:49 pm UTC

yeup wrote:I painted 'press me for sweets' on The Button


So YOU painted over the "press me for oil" button.

I attach all the paperclips randomly together in boxes before sending them out to your office
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yeup
Posts: 16
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Postby yeup » Wed Sep 12, 2007 1:05 pm UTC

I like untangling them, so that makes you a nice person!

I send one box back of clipped together paperclips back to your boss demanding a written apology and suggesting that you be fired. You are fired.

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keozen
The Bearded FaiD Batman
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Postby keozen » Wed Sep 12, 2007 1:07 pm UTC

I don't hold the elevator for people running for it shouting "Wait!"
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MythGuyDK
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Postby MythGuyDK » Wed Sep 12, 2007 1:09 pm UTC

I wax the floor in front of elevators and time the door closing so that people will run, yelling "Wait!" and slip. Then depending on gender and attractiveness I rape them if they're unconcious.
Exactly!

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keozen
The Bearded FaiD Batman
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Postby keozen » Wed Sep 12, 2007 1:11 pm UTC

I make Furbies

Solar powered indestructible ones that have a loudspeaker and no off button
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Zohar
COMMANDER PORN
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Postby Zohar » Wed Sep 12, 2007 1:54 pm UTC

I distribute them to the general population.
Mighty Jalapeno: "See, Zohar agrees, and he's nice to people."
SecondTalon: "Still better looking than Jesus."

Not how I say my name

yeup
Posts: 16
Joined: Tue Aug 21, 2007 3:22 pm UTC

Postby yeup » Wed Sep 12, 2007 1:55 pm UTC

I use the furbies to distribute crack to school kids

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Col. Mustard
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Postby Col. Mustard » Wed Sep 12, 2007 3:21 pm UTC

I beat up those said kids and steal their crack

Token
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Postby Token » Wed Sep 12, 2007 3:26 pm UTC

I sexually abuse those kids and steal their crack. Then I douse them in rocket fuel, crucify them, and then, just before they die, I set them on fire.

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Gelsamel
Lame and emo
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Postby Gelsamel » Wed Sep 12, 2007 3:29 pm UTC

I continually follow a cycle of sexually abusing kids then physically abusing them, until well after time of death.
"Give up here?"
- > No
"Do you accept defeat?"
- > No
"Do you think games are silly little things?"
- > No
"Is it all pointless?"
- > No
"Do you admit there is no meaning to this world?"
- > No

yeup
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Joined: Tue Aug 21, 2007 3:22 pm UTC

Postby yeup » Wed Sep 12, 2007 3:30 pm UTC

I tape you doing that and sell it without your consent, getting filthy rich in the process then blowing the lot on coke and hookers.

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Alcari
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Postby Alcari » Wed Sep 12, 2007 4:40 pm UTC

I tape you doing that, then sell the tape to Gel, so he can sue you.
I'm made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.

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