xkcd Skyscraper

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Djehutynakht
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Re: xkcd Skyscraper

Postby Djehutynakht » Wed Mar 30, 2016 3:19 am UTC

Floor 157 is claimed by the Republic of Molossia.

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Re: xkcd Skyscraper

Postby faubiguy » Wed Mar 30, 2016 3:25 am UTC

Anyone on floor 158 is compelled to write poetry.

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Re: xkcd Skyscraper

Postby ThirdParty » Wed Mar 30, 2016 4:02 am UTC

Floor 159 is an exact duplicate of Floor 87, thereby violating not just Galactic Civil Ordinance 87-34B but, worse, the rules of the thread. It's a very disobedient floor.

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Re: xkcd Skyscraper

Postby emlightened » Wed Mar 30, 2016 4:16 pm UTC

Floor 160 contains the Floor Spanking Emporium, where other floors get spanked for disobeying rules.

"Therefore it is in the interests not only of public safety but also public sanity if the buttered toast on cats idea is scrapped, to be replaced by a monorail powered by cats smeared with chicken tikka masala floating above a rail made from white shag pile carpet."

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Re: xkcd Skyscraper

Postby SirGabriel » Wed Mar 30, 2016 4:49 pm UTC

Floor 161 is completely filled with antimatter. An electric field generator built into the floor, walls, and ceiling ensures that the antimatter never contacts any matter, except for the tiny amount which is intentionally allowed through at regular intervals to provide the power for this electric field generator. Any attempt to enter floor 161 would likely result in the destruction of the entire skyscraper, so anyone trying to get from floor 160 to 162 or vice versa has to climb along the outside of the building (and, naturally, the outside walls of floor 161 are designed to be as hard to climb as possible).

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Djehutynakht
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Re: xkcd Skyscraper

Postby Djehutynakht » Wed Mar 30, 2016 5:05 pm UTC

Floor 162 is absolutely done with this sh*t.

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Re: xkcd Skyscraper

Postby Sableagle » Wed Mar 30, 2016 6:01 pm UTC

Floor 163 is home to a lot of people who don't want to go any higher because 169 is 13 squared and they don't want to get anywhere near that. It's also home to a lot of black cats, which is making the superstitious fools' lives rather awkward.
Zohar wrote:You don't know what you're talking about. Please spare me your quote sniping and general obliviousness.

CorruptUser wrote:Just admit that you were wrong ... and your entire life, cyberspace and meatspace both, would be orders of magnitude more enjoyable for you and others around you.

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Re: xkcd Skyscraper

Postby Mikemk » Wed Mar 30, 2016 6:32 pm UTC

At the center of Floor 164 is a machine which makes everything on the floor smaller by a factor of 20,000. Surrounding the machine is a real life version of every video game which has every existed. People must beat every game to get to floor 165.
Computer specs:
Spoiler:
Intel i5-750 (OC 3.33 GHz)
8GB (OC 1333 MHz) (2GB HDD cache)
NVIDIA GT 740 (OC 1149 MHz) 4GB (OC 841 MHz)
480GB SSD (120 HDD cache)
2x2TB HDD (not RAID)
Windows 10
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Re: xkcd Skyscraper

Postby Sableagle » Wed Mar 30, 2016 7:06 pm UTC

Floor 165 contains all the cheat codes and walkthroughs for all those games and two waterslides, one leading to floor 163 and the other to floor 167. We prefer not to ask how, as the answer comes with a free headache.
Zohar wrote:You don't know what you're talking about. Please spare me your quote sniping and general obliviousness.

CorruptUser wrote:Just admit that you were wrong ... and your entire life, cyberspace and meatspace both, would be orders of magnitude more enjoyable for you and others around you.

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Re: xkcd Skyscraper

Postby username5243 » Wed Mar 30, 2016 9:19 pm UTC

Floor 166 contains a portal that leads to a random floor. Of course people using it risk being killed by the antimatter on floor 161 (and who knows what other things), but since the skyscraper is hypothetically infinitely high, it doesn't carry a great risk. However, a skyscraper security official has recently placed a warning sign near the the portal.
This is a signature, in case you didn't notice.

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Re: xkcd Skyscraper

Postby Mikemk » Wed Mar 30, 2016 10:43 pm UTC

Floor 167 houses an enlargement device, to offset the gravitational effects of floor 164. This floor is fairly popular among certain groups.
Computer specs:
Spoiler:
Intel i5-750 (OC 3.33 GHz)
8GB (OC 1333 MHz) (2GB HDD cache)
NVIDIA GT 740 (OC 1149 MHz) 4GB (OC 841 MHz)
480GB SSD (120 HDD cache)
2x2TB HDD (not RAID)
Windows 10
Linux Mint in VM

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Re: xkcd Skyscraper

Postby username5243 » Wed Mar 30, 2016 11:34 pm UTC

Floor 168 does not exist. This makes people go to the supposedly-unlucky Floor 169 more often without noticing.
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Re: xkcd Skyscraper

Postby Mikemk » Wed Mar 30, 2016 11:45 pm UTC

To prevent bad luck, the residents of the former floor 169 voted to become floor 168.5
Computer specs:
Spoiler:
Intel i5-750 (OC 3.33 GHz)
8GB (OC 1333 MHz) (2GB HDD cache)
NVIDIA GT 740 (OC 1149 MHz) 4GB (OC 841 MHz)
480GB SSD (120 HDD cache)
2x2TB HDD (not RAID)
Windows 10
Linux Mint in VM

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Re: xkcd Skyscraper

Postby username5243 » Wed Mar 30, 2016 11:57 pm UTC

Floor 170 residents are mad that two whole-number floors below it don't exist and as such never look down.
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Re: xkcd Skyscraper

Postby Djehutynakht » Thu Mar 31, 2016 12:30 am UTC

Floor 171 is home to a branch office of the Department of Mysteries.

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Re: xkcd Skyscraper

Postby patzer » Thu Mar 31, 2016 12:34 am UTC

Floor 172 is home to a mystery office of the Department of Branches.
If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family Anatidae on our hands. –Douglas Adams

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Re: xkcd Skyscraper

Postby Mikemk » Thu Mar 31, 2016 12:52 am UTC

Floor 173 has a grey veil blocking all the entrances. No one know what's inside
Computer specs:
Spoiler:
Intel i5-750 (OC 3.33 GHz)
8GB (OC 1333 MHz) (2GB HDD cache)
NVIDIA GT 740 (OC 1149 MHz) 4GB (OC 841 MHz)
480GB SSD (120 HDD cache)
2x2TB HDD (not RAID)
Windows 10
Linux Mint in VM

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Re: xkcd Skyscraper

Postby emlightened » Thu Mar 31, 2016 12:53 am UTC

Floor 174 contains a self-portrait of Yggdrasil.

"Therefore it is in the interests not only of public safety but also public sanity if the buttered toast on cats idea is scrapped, to be replaced by a monorail powered by cats smeared with chicken tikka masala floating above a rail made from white shag pile carpet."

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Re: xkcd Skyscraper

Postby username5243 » Thu Mar 31, 2016 12:54 am UTC

Floor 173 contains a portal to the nonexistent floor 168.
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Re: xkcd Skyscraper

Postby emlightened » Thu Mar 31, 2016 1:03 am UTC

Floor 176 contains an existential clause, and some latex.

"Therefore it is in the interests not only of public safety but also public sanity if the buttered toast on cats idea is scrapped, to be replaced by a monorail powered by cats smeared with chicken tikka masala floating above a rail made from white shag pile carpet."

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Re: xkcd Skyscraper

Postby Djehutynakht » Thu Mar 31, 2016 1:14 am UTC

Floor 177 is floor 62 back with a vengeance.

(I don't know what's on floor 62. Let's go see!)

(Edit: of course it'd be one of the few *normal* floors)

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Re: xkcd Skyscraper

Postby patzer » Thu Mar 31, 2016 1:37 am UTC

Floor 178 is a solid block of flerovium-298.
If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family Anatidae on our hands. –Douglas Adams

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Re: xkcd Skyscraper

Postby Djehutynakht » Thu Mar 31, 2016 1:48 am UTC

Floor 179 contains a very tired cadre of building managers.

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Re: xkcd Skyscraper

Postby faubiguy » Thu Mar 31, 2016 2:00 am UTC

Floor 180 contains a veterinary clinic. All the staff only speak Latin.

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Re: xkcd Skyscraper

Postby Soupspoon » Thu Mar 31, 2016 4:06 am UTC

Floor 181 contains large supercooled vats of FOOF, heavily oxidation-resistant on the inside, highly insulated on the outside. Nobody who chooses to remain on this floor actually knows why the FOOF is there, but everyone who isn't just in the vicinity due to ignorance knows why they shouldn't interfere with the precautions.

(And, although nobody remembers it, there's also a bucket-full of C2N14 stored carefully in a dark, locked cupboard equipped with shock-absorbers.)

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Re: xkcd Skyscraper

Postby Djehutynakht » Thu Mar 31, 2016 4:29 am UTC

Floor 182 contain's Beret Guy's business HQ. Nobody knows where the lease is or how he acquired it, and every night at three in the morning adjacent floors can hear strange buzzing sounds.

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Re: xkcd Skyscraper

Postby ThirdParty » Thu Mar 31, 2016 4:50 am UTC

Floor 183 is a parking garage. It's not clear how cars are supposed to get into it: the vehicle ramp opens into thin air, with the ground over a third of a mile down from here. Maybe it's intended for flying cars, or maybe it was supposed to have been built on a lower floor.

There are three cars parked in it: a 1982 DeLorean DMC-12, a 1982 Pontiac Trans Am, and a 1983 Ford LTD.

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Re: xkcd Skyscraper

Postby Sableagle » Thu Mar 31, 2016 5:57 am UTC

The people on floor 184 look down a lot. They look down on everyone. They especially look down on Londoners who refer to "towards London" as "up" and "away from London" as "down," which seems even sillier to people living about 552m above sea level than it does to people living 210m above sea level.
Zohar wrote:You don't know what you're talking about. Please spare me your quote sniping and general obliviousness.

CorruptUser wrote:Just admit that you were wrong ... and your entire life, cyberspace and meatspace both, would be orders of magnitude more enjoyable for you and others around you.

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Re: xkcd Skyscraper

Postby Mikemk » Thu Mar 31, 2016 8:50 am UTC

An experiment went horribly wrong in the 60's, and floor 185 was filled with lead. An archaeology team is slowly digging up, hoping to figure out what's inside. (Plus, they're hoping to find a way to floor 186 without paying the toll)
Computer specs:
Spoiler:
Intel i5-750 (OC 3.33 GHz)
8GB (OC 1333 MHz) (2GB HDD cache)
NVIDIA GT 740 (OC 1149 MHz) 4GB (OC 841 MHz)
480GB SSD (120 HDD cache)
2x2TB HDD (not RAID)
Windows 10
Linux Mint in VM

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Re: xkcd Skyscraper

Postby Neil_Boekend » Thu Mar 31, 2016 9:29 am UTC

Floor 167 contains Bruce Schneier who roundhouse kicks everyone out of the window.
Last edited by Neil_Boekend on Thu Mar 31, 2016 10:45 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

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Re: xkcd Skyscraper

Postby Mikemk » Thu Mar 31, 2016 10:34 am UTC

Neil_Boekend wrote:Floor 168 contains Bruce Schneier who roundhouse kicks everyone out of the window.

You skipped a few floors
Floor 166 is the location of the bargain cult-supply store. For those who are too lazy to go to floor 666, they can buy the same things here. The only difference is that Floor 166 uses urine instead of holy water.
Computer specs:
Spoiler:
Intel i5-750 (OC 3.33 GHz)
8GB (OC 1333 MHz) (2GB HDD cache)
NVIDIA GT 740 (OC 1149 MHz) 4GB (OC 841 MHz)
480GB SSD (120 HDD cache)
2x2TB HDD (not RAID)
Windows 10
Linux Mint in VM

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Re: xkcd Skyscraper

Postby Neil_Boekend » Thu Mar 31, 2016 10:46 am UTC

Bruce Schneier kicked the floors out of order.

Floor 168 contains a luxurious spa
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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Re: xkcd Skyscraper

Postby Sableagle » Thu Mar 31, 2016 12:25 pm UTC

Floor 186 contains 3,600 computer monitors. At 1-second intervals, they connect, in turn, to randomly selected webcam or security camera feeds not already showing on floor 186. The ambient lighting throughout the floor is derived as follows:

Code: Select all

a =     Tokyo_time div (1 hour) - 4
b =    Berlin_time div (1 hour) - 4
c =    Sydney_time div (1 hour) - 4
d =  Honolulu_time div (1 hour) - 4
e =     Miami_time div (1 hour) - 4
f = Vancouver_time div (1 hour) - 4

if a < 0 or a > 15 then a = 0
if b < 0 or a > 15 then b = 0
if c < 0 or c > 15 then c = 0
if d < 0 or d > 15 then d = 0
if e < 0 or e > 15 then e = 0
if f < 0 or f > 15 then f = 0

l = ((((a * 16 + b) * 16 + c) * 16 + d) * 16 + e) * 16 + f
Zohar wrote:You don't know what you're talking about. Please spare me your quote sniping and general obliviousness.

CorruptUser wrote:Just admit that you were wrong ... and your entire life, cyberspace and meatspace both, would be orders of magnitude more enjoyable for you and others around you.

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Re: xkcd Skyscraper

Postby ThirdParty » Thu Mar 31, 2016 12:50 pm UTC

Floor 190 containers alot of typo.s

[As do some of the previous floors, at least in their numbering. I assume that the second Floor 166 is actually Floor 186, the second Floor 167 is actually Floor 187, the extant Floor 168 is actually Floor 188, and Floor 186 is actually Floor 189.]

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Re: xkcd Skyscraper

Postby Neil_Boekend » Thu Mar 31, 2016 12:51 pm UTC

Floor 191 contains a typo generator. It is spraying typo's everywhere.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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Re: xkcd Skyscraper

Postby SirGabriel » Thu Mar 31, 2016 12:58 pm UTC

Floor 192 contains the vending machine. No one knows how this vending machine manages to fit on a single floor, especially since it currently contains the entirely of the skyscraper in which it is located.

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Re: xkcd Skyscraper

Postby Sableagle » Thu Mar 31, 2016 1:49 pm UTC

Floor 193 contains a wide selection of drive-through delis for zeppelin crews and passengers.
Zohar wrote:You don't know what you're talking about. Please spare me your quote sniping and general obliviousness.

CorruptUser wrote:Just admit that you were wrong ... and your entire life, cyberspace and meatspace both, would be orders of magnitude more enjoyable for you and others around you.

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Re: xkcd Skyscraper

Postby Neil_Boekend » Thu Mar 31, 2016 2:25 pm UTC

Floor 194 contains a zeppelin mooring point.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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Re: xkcd Skyscraper

Postby ThirdParty » Thu Mar 31, 2016 9:17 pm UTC

Floor 195 has been divided into a maze of about 400 cubicles with 1.5m-high walls (~5 ft), each containing an uncomfortable chair, a small desk, and a telephone. Each telephone begins ringing approximately once per minute, with the caller disconnecting after it is answered; if it is left off the hook, it begins making an annoying beeping sound until returned to its cradle. Room temperature is kept at a steady 50°C (122°F), and the entire floor smells vaguely of disinfectant. The only amenity is a water cooler, which is empty. There are no windows and no exit door.

It is currently unoccupied, but presumably the designer has plans for how it shall be used.

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Re: xkcd Skyscraper

Postby Sableagle » Thu Mar 31, 2016 9:22 pm UTC

Floor 196 is described in the 200th post.
Zohar wrote:You don't know what you're talking about. Please spare me your quote sniping and general obliviousness.

CorruptUser wrote:Just admit that you were wrong ... and your entire life, cyberspace and meatspace both, would be orders of magnitude more enjoyable for you and others around you.


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