Search found 594 matches

by RedBandit
Tue Sep 22, 2015 12:35 pm UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 26092
Views: 2547325

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Granted! As much as physically possible, the toaster is made of Uranium and Plutonium. It makes toast very quickly, but there are other side effects...

I wish for a giant teddy bear.
by RedBandit
Mon Sep 14, 2015 9:38 pm UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 26092
Views: 2547325

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Granted! Without warning, the Earth is instantly teleported to the proper position in its orbit for the sun to rise on Wednesday morning your local time. However, nothing on the surface of the planet is teleported along with the planet. As we are all left to die in the harsh vacuum of space, we all ...
by RedBandit
Thu Sep 10, 2015 4:27 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 26092
Views: 2547325

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

You can, but every computer you plug it in to unexpectedly fails, destroying all of your data irrevocably.

I wish for cheat codes for reality.
by RedBandit
Tue Jul 14, 2015 12:05 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 26092
Views: 2547325

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Granted! However, everyone except you transforms into animated smilies without memory of what they looked like before. As the only non-animated human, you are shunned and ostracized. This destroys all of your credibility as you attempt to remind others of what life was like before the World's Cartoo...
by RedBandit
Sun Jul 12, 2015 10:04 pm UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 26092
Views: 2547325

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Granted. Instead, you tried to make stir fry chicken. Unfortunately, you undercooked the chicken and got salmonella. You die.

I wish for a time travel paradox.
by RedBandit
Thu Jul 09, 2015 11:22 pm UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 26092
Views: 2547325

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Granted! Some, random, lucky individual who was racing in the Tour de France just to prove they could compete at that level wins. I assure you that they are quite clean and likable. However, they win because all of the other competitors are crushed by an unlicensed truck driver (lorry driver) on the...
by RedBandit
Thu Jul 09, 2015 4:19 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 26092
Views: 2547325

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Granted! You are quite surprised when you pick up your 90 foot tall, 400 foot long, 1 inch thick paycheck from your office. Your bank refuses to believe it is a legal form of payment. You are forced to change your paycheck to a form of Electronic deposit to your account, however the change takes abo...
by RedBandit
Thu Jul 09, 2015 4:08 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Take a penny leave a penny.
Replies: 2229
Views: 346373

Re: Take a penny leave a penny.

I run the whole pile of coins through one of those machines that flatten pennies into elongated coins.

There is an irradiated, elongated coin in the pile.
by RedBandit
Thu Jul 09, 2015 4:00 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Kill the Next Poster!
Replies: 60
Views: 9471

Re: Kill the Next Poster!

I call upon a Level 60 Sorcerer to cast Necromancy. She accidentally calls to life a zombie tiger. I go to NP's house and throw brains all around the front yard. I pay a small child a quarter to cry out for help outside NP's house. NP, moved by the child's realistic cries for help will run outside, ...
by RedBandit
Thu Jul 09, 2015 3:40 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Count in any direction in any way you want
Replies: 1028
Views: 115867

Re: Count in any direction in any way you want

9
by RedBandit
Thu Jul 09, 2015 3:37 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Vending machine!
Replies: 11568
Views: 1053638

Re: Vending machine!

You get username5244, which is actually an improved version of yourself.

I insert a broken stock exchange.
by RedBandit
Thu Jul 09, 2015 3:31 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 26092
Views: 2547325

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Granted! However, your train derails killing your colleagues and leaving you alone.

I wish for a more clear non-gender specific pronoun.
by RedBandit
Wed Jan 15, 2014 10:54 pm UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Vending machine!
Replies: 11568
Views: 1053638

Re: Vending machine!

You receive the best scrambled eggs you have eaten in your life.

I put in the most expensive laptop I can acquire legally.
by RedBandit
Wed Jan 15, 2014 10:50 pm UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 26092
Views: 2547325

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Granted! However in order to save swiftsilent, you must become swiftsilent. If swiftsilent is in school, you immediately begin the process of flunking out of swiftsilent's classes having no real knowledge of swiftsilent's course of study, swiftsilent's major, or knowledge of any of swiftsilent's exp...
by RedBandit
Thu Jan 09, 2014 11:52 pm UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 26092
Views: 2547325

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Denied. Peace is impossible, you must become one with the hivemind. (http://slacktory.com/2012/04/the-friendly-troll-playing-starcraft-2-as-peaceful-missionaries)

I wish for everyone on Earth to attend my wedding.
by RedBandit
Tue Jan 07, 2014 10:47 pm UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 26092
Views: 2547325

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Granted! The United States of America immediately begins utilizing the metric system in all things, including gasoline purchases, milk bottles, McDonald's soda purchases, et al. However, since the switch was instantaneous and overnight, almost no one and almost no devices were prepared for the switc...
by RedBandit
Sat Mar 16, 2013 4:13 pm UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Vending machine!
Replies: 11568
Views: 1053638

Re: Vending machine!

You get back a six inch pianist.

I put a 2 liter bottle of Pepsi.
by RedBandit
Sat Mar 16, 2013 4:08 pm UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 26092
Views: 2547325

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Granted! Every single office of the company burns down. Any attempt to open a new office also bursts into flames. Furthermore, people will not accept such a thig as being possible without believing it is the devil's work. Pope Francis I excommunicates the CEO and radical Catholics successfully stalk...
by RedBandit
Sat Mar 09, 2013 1:21 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 26092
Views: 2547325

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Granted! One part of your iris is a ultraviolet and the other part is infrared. Every time you blink, you either change the channel on your cable box or give someone a terrible sun burn. Also, every time you close your eyes you give the inside of your eyelids a sunburn that can never heal. Blisters ...
by RedBandit
Sat Feb 11, 2012 1:51 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 26092
Views: 2547325

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Granted! However, the bus flips over in the snow during your journey.

I wish for my legacy to endure forever.
by RedBandit
Sat Jun 11, 2011 2:24 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 26092
Views: 2547325

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Granted! The next time you leave the house, a strange sound fills the air. Looking up reveals thousands of bike tires falling endlessly on your head.

I wish for the ability to control all plant life.
by RedBandit
Thu Jun 02, 2011 11:39 pm UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 26092
Views: 2547325

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Since it cannot be corrupted, I shall instead deny your wish.

I wish to be able to control the shape and function of any object I can see.
by RedBandit
Sat May 28, 2011 1:59 pm UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 26092
Views: 2547325

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Granted! They are all suing you.

I wish the streets were made of butter.
by RedBandit
Fri May 20, 2011 1:15 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 26092
Views: 2547325

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Granted! It's soothing warmth beckons you with tantalizing promises of sweet delight. However, you cannot grasp the mug, nor can you influence the liquid or marshmellows inside in any way. Attempting to disturb the mug from its now permanent home on your desk result in utter failure although it sits...
by RedBandit
Sun May 15, 2011 11:43 pm UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 26092
Views: 2547325

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Granted! Lorenz does and Lorenz is an FBI agent. The black van will arrive shortly.

I wish the sidewalks were made of raspberry frosting.
by RedBandit
Tue May 10, 2011 12:53 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 26092
Views: 2547325

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Granted! However, the lead singer from Seether comes to your house and forces youth listen to "Broken" on loop until you cry and go insane.

I wish the sidewalks everywhere in the world were made of lime Jello.
by RedBandit
Tue May 10, 2011 12:41 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 26092
Views: 2547325

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Granted! It wishes for intelligence, wealth, and your death. Guess which one was granted.

I wish to learn another language while retaining the same level of knowledge I currently possess of the languages I currently know.
by RedBandit
Sun May 01, 2011 3:50 pm UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 26092
Views: 2547325

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

She does. With a knife...

I wish basketballs were neon purple instead of orange.
by RedBandit
Tue Apr 19, 2011 11:18 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 26092
Views: 2547325

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Granted! However, the three new episodes are gore porn about Willie the Wolf eating Shaun the Sheep. There will be blood.

I wish all modes of transportation were absolutely silent.
by RedBandit
Thu Apr 14, 2011 11:15 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 26092
Views: 2547325

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Granted! However, it gets a computer virus and goes postal. You are blamed, arrested, and sued for billions.

I wish everyone was 20-30% nicer all of the time.
by RedBandit
Sat Apr 09, 2011 4:35 pm UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 26092
Views: 2547325

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Granted! (NSFW, NSFL)

I wish for the ability to cause miracles to happen.
by RedBandit
Sat Apr 02, 2011 1:16 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 26092
Views: 2547325

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Granted!You are struck by lightning and die.ninja edit

You read them all and promptly forget ther contents.

I wish for freedom from wordfilters.
by RedBandit
Wed Mar 30, 2011 11:15 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 26092
Views: 2547325

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Granted! However, you choke while eating them. You will not be saved in time.

I wish for a bowling ball.
by RedBandit
Tue Mar 29, 2011 11:21 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 26092
Views: 2547325

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Granted! It's so strong, it takes over downtown London. It requires the combined military might of NATO to take down. Smells pretty good too.

I wish to be a contestant on a game show.
by RedBandit
Mon Mar 21, 2011 1:44 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 26092
Views: 2547325

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Granted! However, the world also has the ability to change you. As a matter of fact, almost nothing changes.

I wish for a better life.
by RedBandit
Tue Mar 15, 2011 10:35 pm UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Vending machine!
Replies: 11568
Views: 1053638

Re: Vending machine!

You get a very angry mommy.

I put several security cameras into the vending machine.
by RedBandit
Tue Mar 15, 2011 10:33 pm UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Welcome to Zork
Replies: 607
Views: 52879

Re: Welcome to Zork

That seems like a great idea, however you can no longer recall the way. It seems so long ago and far away, and was clearly soon forgotten.

You clearly must do something about your hand. It hurts quite a bit and is bleeding rather alarmingly.

> RIP SHIRT
by RedBandit
Tue Mar 15, 2011 11:26 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Welcome to Zork
Replies: 607
Views: 52879

Re: Welcome to Zork

"The celery stalks at midnight."

> PUNCH DOCTOR
by RedBandit
Tue Mar 15, 2011 11:24 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 26092
Views: 2547325

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Granted! However, as a dominant OS, it now faces the same level of virus/malware attacks as Windows with approximately the same success rate.

I wish for the hour lost to Daylight Savings Time was returned to me immediately.
by RedBandit
Sat Mar 05, 2011 9:43 pm UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 26092
Views: 2547325

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Granted! You get a small bobcat. As it rips into your jugular, with your dying glance, you notice a small collar with a single word printed on it. "Kitty"

I wish for a hand gun.

Go to advanced search